first day

A new keeper starts at the zoo. He's very nervous as he's got no experience of working with animals. Luckily, his new boss spots this, and gives him only the easy tasks to start with. First he has to clear weeds from the exotic fish tanks, but he accidentally pulls the plug on a tank, killing the fish inside. Panicking about what his boss will say, he tries to think of a way to hide the dead fish. Eventually, he hits on a brilliant idea: give it to the lions, as his boss told him lions will eat anything. So, trying to look nonchalant, he walks past the lion's enclosure, and quickly tosses the fish inside. Next he has to clean the monkey house. He gets stuck in, but leaves the door open, and a couple of chimps make a break for freedom, leaping over the zoo fence, and onto the motorway, where they are promptly knocked down and killed. The new keeper is now in a right state, convinced he'll get the sack on his first day. Again, he covers everything up by feeding the chimps to the lions, knowing of course that lions will eat anything. His final task is to plant flowering shrubs for the South American honey bees. He starts on this, but forgets his protective gloves. The bees start stinging him, and he runs about, trying to beat them off him. In the confusion, he trips up on his spade and lands on a hive, squashing it flat. Wishing he'd never even applied for the job, he feeds the squashed bees to the lions, clocks off, and runs home before anything else can go wrong. That evening, a new lion arrives at the zoo. He asks the other lions: "What are the keepers like here?". "Getting better" says an old lion. "For dinner today we had fish and chimps with mushy bees."

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